Something for my Vonx.

"All parents damage their children.It cannot be helped. Youth, like pristine glass, absorbs the prints of its handlders. Some parents smudge, others crack, a few shatter childhoods completely into jagged little pieces, beyond repairs."

"Sons will adore their fathers through even the worst behaviour. It is how they learn devotion. Before he can devote himself to God or a woman, a boy will devote himself to his father, even foolishly, even beyond explaination"

"All parents damage their children. This was their life together. Neglect. Violence. Silence. Stung by the denial of a man whose love, almost inexplicably, he still coveted, a man ignoring him, even in heave. His father. The damage done"

--The five people you meet in heaven. -Mitch Albom.

Face it, I am not a reader and Mitch Albom is all that I've read lately.3 books, that's it.

Those quoted texts are what that surfaced to my mind almost immediately when I heard about Von's situation.
I can't say enough of all the encouraging words cos' I know the real pain is only felt by the person affected. Like I said long ago, happiness you can share but pain and sorrow, it won't spread to the listening parties. They wont be able to feel what you really feel as much as they empathize.

This world can't be fair. As if we are born to "redeem" what we did last life, we just can't be the same.
Rich, poor, smart, dumb, good looking, plain, fat, skinny, golden spoon, plastic spoon, lucky star, jinx.
We can't be the best of both worlds but we can be the worst of all types.

But I guess I am not completely that far off. At least I really never thought that living is a punishment and to die is a release. I have read of so many parasites that easily comment "just kill me." because they have some RELATIONSHIP problem. Wtf?

I just say I am born to be the type that have just an extra set of emotions that easily influenced by the reality of the world but not with the mouth to speak them.
This could be called being pessimistic but face it, not everyone is born with that vibrant optimism and I am not that into pessimist-ism, I am just stuck inbetween.

Sometimes I thought...so what we are 23? 23 does not says that we will all be happy and pink. 32 won't say we are settled and content. Age does not gives us an instruction of what we should do, where we should be. Because we are all born under different stars, not all of us can live the prime at the same time.
So Von, do not let others determine or influence what you should do at an age. We are not the same. 23 for them could have been rich and all the favourable conditions set in but not us. It's not that we are trying not to live better, getting the better of life. But we have been trying to make the best of what we could,yea?

I once commented that we could never see ourselves in the eyes of the others. I was often astonished if people could tell me that I am full of empathy, insipiring even and blah blah de blah. But then I realised that it could all be true cos' it's not that you are not as good as others think of you, but it is something that you can never see yourself. Why? Because we are our own critics.

Before I really knew Vonx, I admired her alot. (Not that I don't now.) I always like her to have her own piece of mind, style and character. She never seems to be easily influenced by others, quite unlike me then.

Time could have changed, people might have too. But I believed there will always be something inside you that can't change.
I was always the quiet and shy one at school. Much as I am deemed to be different from before but I will always remain quiet and shy when I am not required to be wearing a suit.

I guess our lives can never be smooth satin but maybe we are more durable and stronger too.
So Von, I hope you cheer up and don't lock yourself behind the times that had passed.
You and me have the tendency to do that always.

Hugs.